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Should I put my baby up for adoption?

Placing a child for adoption is a very serious decision that can change the rest of your life as well as the life of your child. Adoption leads to a complete relinquishing of parental rights and offers no guarantee that the biological parents will be able to interact with their child in the future. Some parents find themselves in situations where they are unable to provide for their child, be it financially or emotionally, and adoption is the best option. When this occurs, adoption can lead to a better life for the child. As all decisions in life, there are pros and cons to adoption.

Improved Quality of Life

Many parents seek adoption because they do not believe they can provide for their child. In this scenario, the child ends up being placed with a family that is able to provide in ways the biological parent or parents cannot. The child is much more likely to grow up in a stable home environment and enjoy a higher standard of living and the increased opportunities that come with it. But this benefit sometimes can extend to the biological parents. No longer encumbered by the need to provide for a child, the biological parents’ finances become more flexible.

Sense of Loss

There is no denying, the adoption process and subsequent loss of a child often leaves the biological parents with a deep sense of loss. Grief is likely to set in, and it may reside within a parent for years after the adoption. Some individuals may continue to be haunted by their decision to give their child up for adoption, feeling haunted and regretful of their decision; regardless of whether it was the right decision at the time of the adoption. Modern adoption and open adoptions can help provide reassurance for the birth parents in seeing a life for their child that might not have existed otherwise and mitigates any feelings of abandonment for the child,

Control Over Adoptive Parent Selection

A biological parent who chooses to place her child for adoption can help decide who takes over guardianship of the child. This is accomplished by going through an adoption agency or by matching up with adoptive parents during pregnancy and conducting interviews to choose a family for your child. Through this, the parent of the child can enjoy more security over the type of family the child is born into. In some cases, agreements also can be made to allow the biological parent to keep in touch with the child and remain a part of the child’s life (open or semi-open adoption)

Child Resentment

Many adoptive children grow up feeling bitter and resentful of their biological parents, even as they grow and mature into adults. These feelings are rooted in the abandonment that children feel they have suffered from. The adoptive parents sometimes can influence this outlook, but it remains a risk that a biological parent faces when choosing to give up her child. Again, open adoption helps mitigate these feelings and offers the child an opportunity to know and love both their parents and biological parents.


Though the adoption is official and permanent after placement and the legal termination of parental rights have occurred, the birth mother will never forget or cease to be affected by the adoption process. Even when there is virtual certainty that adoption was the right thing to do, it remains a difficult and emotional process for many birth mothers. Adoption Choices of Alabama will be with you through the entire process and ensure you are well informed, confident, and comfortable with your adoption choices.

Call us TOLL FREE 855-274-4673 or TEXT: 205-543-7400

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